Doing stuff for me!

Hey my beautiful followers old and new!

This week has been pretty busy for us, I’ve not had a chance to sit and chill out. So, we have a family wedding to attend this weekend I wanted to get my nails done so ensured to put money aside for it as I booked in advance. I last minute got booked in with my hairdresser, I wanted a trim as my hair does grow quickly and I want to keep it short as it’s so much easier to maintain for me! I also decided to get my hair recoloured, I wanted purple hair for a while I just didn’t have the balls to do it, then I reminded myself that I can either live my life with regrets or just go for it. I’m glad I did! I have lush purple colour with pink running through it. What I also discovered was my hair matches the colours in my in-laws living room which was a laugh, I’m sure I’d be useful for when they need to get new furniture or paint for their living room.

My lethargy has been a lot better! I believe vitamin D has helped a lot with that. I’ve been able to stay awake more, and slowly getting back into my usual routine. I did have to cancel yesterday’s driving lesson due to the sheer pain in my knees, it’s difficult to describe but it felt like deep bone pain? It was awful! I took tramadol and it didn’t even put it on the edge at least, fortunately it’s not too bad af the moment as I’ve kept rested up after being out.

 

I am booked in to see pain management clinic in next couple of weeks, of course I will keep you updated with how that goes. I am proud to see my bio now in the fibrosupport-Wales website, I’m proud to be part of this wonderful team and love my fibro family. Their goal is to become a charity and I am with them every step of the way!

I done my balance test in hospital, everything came back normal; so it’s now the case of is it migraine or fibromyalgia that is causing the dizzy and faint spells? They gave me some advice on coping with my tinnitus which is awful in the night or quiet room. The balance test was mostly watching my eye movements with some simple tests which did leave me feel very dizzy afterwards which is completely normal. From falling back quick (they had full support on my head) to wearing these sexy goggles watching a dot moving back and forth.My husband and I stopped by at cafe in hospital to help me rest up before heading back home.

I know I’ve done soppy posts before, honestly I have an amazing husband, he’s been fantastic when I’ve been lethargic and sore. He has been sorting out the children allowing me to rest, that’s why we are honoured to be offered a free holiday I feel the children deserve it more than anything. So we have that to look forward to in couple of months. My husband has helped wash me as I’ve been too sore and lethargic to do it, I hate being that  bad where I’m sat in a warm bath whilst my husband runs shower over me and washes my hair and body for me. He doesn’t get fazed by it though, he’s always been the same with me. I also love how I can talk about periods and other womanly things as he can about his manly things lol! We are comfortable with our bodies, like when I’m sterilising the menstrual cup he offers to do it for me. That may gross out some, but to me that shows how much he loves me, as he says he’s seen me birth our three beautiful children. Having a supportive partner like that does help a lot when you are battling an invisible condition. I am so lucky to have a man like him.

 

Xxxx

New hair

 

Hey beautiful,

 

I had my hair done last week, and the person who done my hair is someone I’ve known since we were early teens. I love my hair it’s more manageable for me!

I’ve so far lost 1 stone too I believe it’s because I been walking my dog and drinking at least 2ltr or more water every day.

Ive been using menstrual cup which I may do a post on here when I get the chance!

 

 

Drama free life.

Hey bunch of beautiful awesome beings!

Since I’ve chosen to distant from negativity, I feel a lot happier in life.

I had some awful time with people last year, to point it drove me to feel very suicidal and I was referred to crisis team. I now have amazing professionals who regular check up on me. I have a well-being course in February which focus on positives and help build up my confidence.

When all this drama was going on in my life, my children were being affected, all my attention was on all this negativity and not them. I won’t allow that to happen again, I accept that not everyone is going to like me and that’s okay. Life is too short to be sat hating on others, when it can be spent focusing on what’s more important.

My children are more important, I want the best for them, so long as they are happy and healthy nothing else matters. I won’t allow people to walk in and out their life, as that happened to me in my childhood and it has affected me a lot. I don’t want my children to lose their confidence, or to ever feel let down. I had a good friend who I won’t go into too much detail, but they and their family who at the time were big part of my children’s life ignored my children all because they fell out with me. Thankfully this was as my older two were very young so won’t remember.Regardless if someone hates me or my husband, my children should never be ignored like that. It was devastating at the time as they were involved a lot in the children’s lives just like my best friend (who is still in my life and see as my sister now, boys see her as their auntie). People come and go, I get it, and I am aware my children will experience that as they get older.

Anyhoo, life is short, I’ve chosen to live in happiness and drama free.

X

Oh how I envy you sometimes…

My back has been causing me grief, I been keeping active as possible to help relieve the pain. Now I have excruciating pain from inner thigh hip area, shooting down to my foot. Tramadol and ibropufen haven’t touched it. My husband made me a hot water bottle, kissed my forehead and fell asleep whilst cuddling me…

how does he do it? He falls asleep so easily, there’s me who takes a while to fall asleep and some nights I have no sleep at all. I’m not usually a jealous person, I’m so envious how quick and easy it is for him to fall asleep though! That’s some skills that I wouldn’t mind having myself.

My husband doesn’t want me doing much today, he wants me to keep my foot elevated and to take it easy. More excuse for me to play some Pokémon 🤷🏻‍♀️

This pain though…oh my gosh it’s brought me to tears, hot water bottle is helping slightly, taking strong pain killers in hope it would take the pain away completely was pretty much hopeless. It’s a very sharp intense pain, traveling from my inner hip down to the underside of my foot. Putting any light pressure on it aggravates and the pain intensifies. It’s not like the usual pains I have, I can bear them a little better. This pain is awful!

Ive place a cushion under my leg to help elavate it, I was planing to go swimming but fear it may make it worse? You see I need my energy and strength when my husband has to go to work. I don’t want to over do it. I’m exhausted, this pain is keeping me awake. I look at my husband who looks so peaceful, I wonder what it feels like to not be in pain every day, like what does “normal” feel like? Do they still have twinges, slight cramps 24/7? Do they get nausea and fatigue 24/7? Is that even normal for everyone?

My husband is amazing though, even if I want to nudge him as he looks so comfy and I’m laying here in agony. Not that I am going to, but if I woke him up and asked for help he’d do it no questions asked. He’d fetch me glass of water or hot water bottle, he’s rub my back and give me cuddles till I felt rested. I’m being good, because he has worked a lot, aaaaand because he’s letting me rest up today whilst he keeps the children and our doggo entertained. We make a good team, there to support one another and pick up the others slack if they fall ill. Life got more easier since we got a dishwasher  mind you! 😂

I’ve typed it on here a few times now, I’m proud of my husband, he is my rock. 💕

still envious right now of him sleeping…😜

Marie Curie UK

My birthday is on 10th January, and I’d love to collect small donations to this wonderful charity. I’ve witnessed the compassion , the hard work, they supported us all through such a difficult heartbreaking time. I’d love to make a donation no matter how small as a thank you.

 

if you wish to donate here is the link:

https://www.facebook.com/donate/377428629744137/?fundraiser_source=external_url

Dear Past me.

Dear Past me,

Don’t ever try to please others , you’ll end up miserable, regretting not doing the choices you wanted. What happened to you at a young age, I just want to say how brave you were to step forward and tell someone; the age you were you were scared. It was that very step that broke us free from abuse. Unfortunately we were bullied all throughout and this caused our confidence to plummet down.

Please don’t take those nasty remarks at heart, not everyone is going to like you. You are beautiful, start believing it more. Life throws many highs and lows, people walk in and out our life, don’t ever blame yourself for this. You deal with narcissistic abuse, girl we have become a stronger, amazing, kind individual.

Fibromyalgia is another challenge thrown at us, prove ourself sick and in pain, dealing with judgment and learning to adapt to this condition.

2019, lets have you!

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I’m moving forward.

I done something that I haven’t ever been able to do before. I’m a sentimental person, I held on to meaningless little things like a pebble I collected from a beach when I was little. Things like that, I never bothered with these small items, just kept them stored away. I decided it was time to declutter, out with the old in with the new kind of thing. I thought I’d struggle, but nope! I felt so damn amazing throwing it all. I feel I’ve held onto these things as a comfort thing, of course I’ll won’t get rid of certain things I.e photographs, jewellery, things been passed down to families. I found all my old work from school for goodness sake!

Clothes we weren’t wearing have all been donated, toys my children have outgrown or shown no interest have also been donated. I wish we had done this sooner, because it feels amazing, I feel refreshed. I’m starting the new year with no clutter that sat in the attic or in a box.

On top of that, I don’t have a grudge on anyone either. Because life is too short to drain your energy on that kind of shit.

heres to the New Year!

My whole world. X

My first Christmas as a Casey, it sounds cheesy but means so much to me. I finally feel my little family is complete as we now can say “Casey household” 😂.

I had a little lows, but the highlight of this year is marrying my soul mate. 💕

hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

lots of love and gentle hugs,

Mr & Mrs Casey

xxxx

 

>>>PERIOD<<<

That fucking word is a word I even hate PERIOD!

I used to cringe mentioning it out in public, whenever speaking to a friend or family member it was “oh it’s my time of month”, but to some stranger it’s “oh I’m just feeling unwell”.

As I’m near my 30’s I’ve finally realised it’s just a fucking word, it’s natural it’s part of my body. Ladies we should be fucking proud of our bodies, because having a period whilst carry on with life is a big FUCK YOU to those who see us as moany wee shites. We go through a lot okay?! I mean we then have to go through menopause…the fuck is that all about?! I’d say I’m sorry for my colourful choice of words, however I’d be bullshitting ya! This period is a fucking bitch of a period that my fibro has decided to join in on that party and cause nothing but aches and pains! Bleeding out my vagina whilst doing my best to not lose my shit is challenging.

I’m no longer ashamed of my body and the beauty Mother Nature has given to me… someone asks how I am I can openly say “oh just bleeding out my vagina, the usual you know?!” Perhaps not as flippant as that, if people are grossed out on you being open about it. They have the issue, not you! It’s sad to see young children/ teenagers finding it such a taboo subject. We should be open about it, I used to shove my sanitary towel up my sleeve in work as I try to act normal going to the bathroom just to “discreetly” change. Now I’m like “fuck this, it’s natural”. I wish I had that confidence when I was younger, because I now feel more relaxed and not behaving as “secretive” so to speak. 

 

 

 

Happy Anniversary! 😁

Today my blog turns 4! 4 years I’ve been posting the highs, the lows and the bits in between. I started this up to vent as this condition left me feeling lonely.

To think I was going to delete this blog due to snarky remarks thrown against me as the person believed I was posting about them. I’ve had amazing support around me that’s helped me move on and carry on posting what I like on here. I’ve made some amazing achievements and grown into a more confident person believing in myself more. I still get my low moods, I know my triggers I know where to get help.

Anyhoo, thank you to my followers old and new! Thank you for your kind comments and likes, thank you to those who even just browsed as it’s helped bring traffic in.

love you all!